


Reconciliation and Restitution

by mage_girl



Category: Black Panther (2018), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky thinks he's hilarious, Colonization, Erik Killmonger Lives, Friendship, M/M, Racism, Sam Wilson Is A Treasure, Steve is up to no good, long conversations, not exactly compliant with MCU but I do what I want
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:20:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22012468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mage_girl/pseuds/mage_girl
Summary: It might have been easier to let Erik Killmonger bleed out, to let him die. T'Challa made a different call.Steve and Bucky become confidantes, people that Erik, now known as N'Jadaka, can trust.And as conversations move forward, reconciliation becomes more than a faint possibility and as far as restitution is concerned... well, that is on the table as well.
Relationships: Erik Killmonger & T'Challa, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, james "Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers & Erik Killmonger/N'Jadaka
Kudos: 28
Collections: Fandom Trumps Hate 2019





	Reconciliation and Restitution

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tommygirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tommygirl/gifts).



> I am so thrilled to write this for Tommygirl as one of the winning bids for Fandom Trumps Hate 2019. It took me a little while to put all the pieces together but Steve and Bucky and Sam had things to say. And N'Jadaka had his own voice that demanded recognition.
> 
> So consider me just the scrivener as I relate how their friendship grew, how reconciliation that once seemed out of reach became a possibility, and how some issues can be resolved.

‘It isn’t much Buck,’ protested Steve. He looked at Bucky like every other time he looked at Bucky for absolution after the fact.

‘When were you planning on telling me about this? When he was knocking on our door?’ asked Bucky, waving his arms about a little.

‘Um,’ started Steve just as there was a knock on their door.

Bucky spared Steve a filthy look and walked over to open the door, revealing a fidgeting young black man on the other side.

‘Hey… Steve said it was cool to stop by,’ he said, looking at Bucky and giving him a hesitant smile.

Bucky raised his eyebrows and half-turned his body to look over his shoulder at Steve who was definitely not turning pink.

‘Sure,’ said Bucky. ‘Come on in.’

‘Hey,’ said Steve, surging out of his seat with overplaced eagerness. ‘Glad you could make it. I thought T’Challa was going to keep you for another hour.’

‘Oh. Well, Shuri needed him for something and I… I had the time,’ said the young man quietly.

‘T’Challa is a busy man with lots of people wanting him for this or that,’ said Steve diplomatically. Shuri was coldly polite to her cousin and only spent time with him during official functions.

‘I know Shuri don’t want me around,’ said N’Jadaka, known as Erik Killmonger to some of the Wakandans.

‘She needs more time,’ said Steve gently, and here Bucky groaned quietly. He knew that tone anywhere and braced himself for Steve to look at him with that expectation on his face.

‘I mean, I get it. I do get it. I told him to let me die. I told him I don’t want to be no pawn here. I won’t be the outcast like I always been. This ain’t my home,’ said N’Jadaka.

‘Not yet it isn’t,’ said Steve, drawing N’Jadaka further into the room. ‘That’ll take time, too. You got time.’

‘I sure ain’t doing much else,’ said N’Jadaka, heaving a sigh. ‘My auntie gives me the time of day a little. She’s been teaching me our history and language. T’Challa… he takes me around and introduces me as his cousin. Shuri ignores me when she can and only talks to me if she needs to. And those guards… they still waiting for their chance.’

‘Okoye would not allow it,’ said Steve. ‘She holds her duty to the throne first and T’Challa has declared that you are to be left alone.’

‘That’s just it, ain’t it? I’m alone. It would have been better if T’Challa had listened to me and respected what I told him. Let me die. Let me choose my fate,’ said N’Jadaka.

‘It’s that easy, huh?’ asked Bucky. He had closed the door and sat down on the couch, watching Steve and N’Jadaka talk.

‘Excuse me?’ asked N’Jadaka.

‘Is it that easy to decide that you’re gonna die and not fix what you left behind?’ asked Bucky.

‘You don’t know anything about this,’ said N’Jadaka, his voice rising.

‘I know more than you think,’ retorted Bucky. ‘I know that coming back from the dead isn’t always a happy ending. I know that facing what was done didn’t mean I was automatically forgiven, I know that guilt and remorse can eat a person alive.’

‘I don’t have anything to be guilty about!’ said N’Jadaka, his eyes flashing. ‘T’Chaka killed my daddy. He left me there with my daddy’s dead body and me with nothing. I had to take care of myself! My momma was in prison… I didn’t have anyone else. T’Chaka took it all from me.’

‘Who raised you?’ asked Bucky.

‘I went to a foster home until my momma got out. Then she took me in but I was older then and it was difficult. My momma loved me but she had her things, too. It was best for me to be on my own when I could,’ answered N’Jadaka.

‘See, Buck, the thing is, we had each other. After my ma died, you came and lived with me and we took care of each other. And I was an adult, then,’ said Steve.

‘Barely,’ muttered Bucky. ‘You had no one else, either. If I hadn’t moved in, you couldn’t have lived there alone. You didn’t have the money for it.’

‘I would have figured it out,’ said Steve. 

Bucky rolled his eyes, ‘Keep telling yourself that, punk.’

Steve shook his head. ‘Point being is we had each other and we were adults. N’Jadaka had nobody for a long time.’

‘You’re taking my side?’ asked N’Jadaka, sitting down on the chair opposite Bucky.

‘I’m understanding where you’re coming from,’ said Steve. He sat down next to Bucky and stretched his legs out. 

‘That’s taking my side,’ said N’Jadaka.

‘Not necessarily. Understanding where you’re coming from doesn’t mean that I condone what you did,’ said Steve. ‘Not that I don’t understand your reasoning. It’s the methods.’

‘What. Was I supposed to fly to Wakanda and kiss T’Challa’s ring? Was I supposed to roll in and let them all know that T’Chaka murdered my daddy and I want acknowledgement and I want in on the action, that it’s my birth right?’ asked N’Jadaka.

‘I don’t think T’Challa wears rings like that,’ said Steve, mildly. ‘And why not go to Wakanda and challenge them?’

‘Did T’Challa tell you anything about Wakanda history?’ asked N’Jadaka, after taking a deep breath.

‘Some,’ said Steve. ‘I’m still learning.’

‘So you know they shut themselves off from the world. Hid themselves from danger,’ said N’Jadaka.

Bucky snorted as Steve scrunched his face up in realization.

‘I’m sorry,’ Steve said. ‘I stepped in it this time.’

‘Here’s the thing,’ said Bucky, leaning forward and drawing N’Jadaka’s eye. ‘I can’t say that you’re wrong with your thinking. And not because Wakanda has all this tech and all. It’s the whole not experiencing what the rest of Africa experienced, especially when it came to colonization.’

N’Jadaka nodded. ‘Yeah. And being enslaved and all that. This country is something else. I mean, the people here never knew what it’s like to lose everything and then be punished for wanting to get it back.’

‘That’s something T’Challa is struggling with,’ said Steve. ‘He realizes that isolation protected Wakanda but at the cost of others.’

N’Jadaka sighed. ‘I don’t need him feeling guilty about nothing. I just need him to talk to people and try to understand where the anger and bitterness is coming from.’

‘Has T’Challa talked to you about this? asked Steve.

‘Yeah. I woke up and there he was, sitting next to me with this look on his face. I told him he had no right to save my life when I told him I didn’t want to live. Not here. Not indebted and I can’t pay it back,’ said N’Jadaka.

‘And what did he say to that?’ asked Steve.

‘He said that family doesn’t have debts. And that there was a greater unpaid debt due to me because of my daddy and because of me being left behind. He told me not to jump to conclusions about his decisions,’ said N’Jadaka.

‘Still. It’s got to be galling to wake up when you were ready to go,’ said Bucky.

N’Jadaka shifted slightly in his chair. ‘I dunno…. when I took over, I had a dream. I don’t know if I’m ready to face that person in my dream again, when I die. I know that’s a possibility and it was hard enough the first time…’

‘I thought I was dreaming when Bucky rescued me after the Helicarrier exploded and I fell. I’d made my peace with dying. I’d outrun that clock for some time and if now was the time, then now was the time. It was a surprise to wake up with Falcon sitting next to me in the hospital,’ said Steve.

‘I heard about that. I was out in the field at the time and when that whole mess went down, I was instructed to stay where I was at. I wonder now if those goons hadn’t infiltrated my organization as well,’ said N’Jadaka.

‘Probably,’ answered Bucky. ‘Did you read some of the data that Black Widow dumped for the world to see? It was an alphabet soup of every agency in the United States and around the world. HYDRA was playing the long game.’

‘That’s why you’re here, right? You’re still running,’ said N’Jadaka, looking at Steve and then Bucky.

Steve shrugged. ‘I’m still a fugitive from the United States. I don’t like what the Accords can do and after rescuing my team from the Raft, I like it even less.’

N’Jadaka whistled. ‘How did you even manage that? We all heard that was impossible to infiltrate. Some of us wanted to give it a go when it was finished but we never got around to it.’

‘You knew about it?’ asked Steve in a voice that had Bucky looking at him sharply.

‘Only because we had our sources. It was supposed to be under the radar for as long as it could be,’ said N’Jadaka. ‘Didn’t you have your own sources?’

‘Not there,’ said Steve, shaking his head.

‘You couldn’t be everywhere at once,’ said Bucky. ‘And Sam, Wanda, Clint, and Scott made their decisions. They’re grown ups, Steve. Don’t take away the dignity of their choices.’

‘Don’t quote Pegs at me, Buck,’ grumbled Steve. 

‘I know you’re still feeling guilty about that. Let it be,’ said Bucky, softly.

Steve groaned and ran his fingers through his hair while Bucky patted him gently on his back.

‘I understood nothing of what that was about,’ commented N’Jadaka with a grin.

‘When you get to know this one a little better,’ replied Bucky, giving Steve a gentle shake, ‘you’ll learn guilt runs in his blood, just like the super serum.’

‘Lay off, Buck,’ moaned Steve.

N’Jadaka’s grin widened but he only shrugged. ‘You got your people out. That’s impressive.’

‘Less impressive was the fact they were put there in the first place,’ retorted Steve. ‘That’s done though They’re free.’

‘Well, mostly,’ added Bucky. 

‘Yeah. Two of them made plea bargains because of their families. They went home and are being monitored,’ said Steve. ‘Everyone else is….safe.’

N’Jadaka nodded. ‘Family is family. But being monitored doesn’t sound like it’s any fun, either,’

‘It isn’t,’ said Steve. ‘Check ins and everything. Scott says it’s a pain in the ass but he’s willing to put up with it because of his daughter.’

‘I guess I’m lucky they didn’t do that to me,’ said N’Jadaka. ‘I can go where I want but that’s uncomfortable. I know people don’t want me around. I know they don’t trust me.’

‘Do you care?’ asked Bucky.

‘Some days, nah. Most days I don’t. But some days… I think of what could have been and maybe things might have been different if I grew up here. Who knows? It’s pointless to think on all of that cos it never happened. And I don’t have the luxury of getting bitter,’ said N’Jadaka.

Steve shrugged. ‘Buck would say I’m about three quarters bitter. I never liked seeing people getting stepped on. Didn’t have time for that. Spent a lot of time getting beaten up because I did something about it.’

‘I spent more time than I care to think about rescuing your punk ass,’ muttered Bucky.

‘You two are something else,’ commented N’Jadaka. ‘I read all about you in school. The whole Captain America story and how you both sacrificed everything. There were folders with your pictures on it.’

‘Yeah?’ asked Steve.

‘Yeah. And you both were like, mythical. People who were untouchable. But here you are and you don’t sound like someone untouchable. You sound like some of the kids I grew up with. The ones who had attitude and weren’t going to lie down and take it,’ said N’Jadaka.

‘Yeah. Lying down and just taking it are words Steve doesn’t know,’ added Bucky with a smirk.

‘I’m not a god or anything,’ said Steve. ‘I just got lucky. I’m still that kid from Brooklyn just older and hopefully wiser.’

‘Huh. You think that comes with age?’ asked N’Jadaka.

‘I’ll let you know when it does,’ answered Steve while Bucky laughed.

***

N’Jadaka would stop by sporadically, knocking at the door and shuffling his feet slightly when Steve or Bucky opened it. He looked as though talking to them was a distraction from everything else in his life at the moment.

‘I hear you were invited to a dinner with all the tribes,’ said Bucky one day, after giving N’Jadaka a swift all-encompassing look.

‘Shuri talks too much,’ muttered N’Jadaka sourly, flopping down onto the couch.

‘Okoye was the one who told me,’ said Bucky, thinking to Shur’s stone face as she listened to Okoye break the news.

‘Oh,’ said N’Jadaka. ‘People still talking about me.’

‘People do that,’ agreed Bucky. ‘Some people also have other things to do. Okoye actually told me because she wants me to be there for support.’

‘You think I can’t handle myself?’ asked N’Jadaka, bristling.

‘I think it would be nice to have someone who isn’t looking to stab me in the back, try to create trouble, or treat me like dirt at an important get together,’ answered Bucky.

N’Jadaka visibly deflated. ‘Sorry. I had to meet with some dude this morning to get fitted in clothing that lets people know my standing with the royal family. I was wondering if my daddy would have had to do the same thing.’

‘Probably,’ said Bucky. ‘T’Challa and Shuri grew up going to meetings and functions and whatever. T’Challa tells me he had to have lessons in manners and all that. Sometimes he says he uses the wrong silverware because he gets tired of the pomp and circumstance.’

N’Jadaka snickered. ‘Imagine that. My cousin not so perfect after all.’

‘I leave that up to Steve,’ said Bucky, raising his voice just as Steve opened up the apartment door.

‘Excuse me? Are you taking my name in vain again?’ asked Steve.

‘Always,’ said Bucky.

Steve shook his head and slipped off his sandals. ‘I had to stop by the tailor’s place and get fitted again. If I don’t see another tape measure in my life, I will be happy.’

N’Jadaka chuckled. ‘Good thing I’m not the only one who has feelings about all that. Although I gotta admit I like the fabric.’

‘The fabric is nice. Feel like a real swell when I tried the coat on,’ agreed Steve. 

‘I got outfitted already. Told them they don’t need to do anything fancy with me. And they had to figure out how to style something with my arm and all,’ said Bucky. ‘It isn’t too fancy.’

‘You don’t mind?’ asked Steve.

‘I would rather be comfortable than fancy looking,’ replied Bucky.

‘I was talking to T’Challa about us doing some sparring exercises,’ said Steve, changing the subject.

‘Who’s sparring?’ asked Bucky.

‘Well, you and me. Me and N’Jadaka. Maybe you and N’Jadaka if you are up for it,’ answered Steve.

‘I wouldn’t mind sparring with either of you,’ said N’Jadaka. ‘I’d like to see how long I could hold my own.’

‘You might last a couple of minutes,’ said Bucky. ‘It depends on how good you are.’

‘I’m pretty good,’ said N’Jadaka.

‘Uh huh. What did T’Challa say?’ asked Bucky, giving N’Jadaka a lazy grin that grew wider when N’Jadaka scowled back.

‘He okayed it. As long as we don’t use sharp weapons. Blunt blades only and the such,’ said Steve.

‘I’m not a baby, Steve,’ grumbled Bucky while N’Jadaka nodded in agreement.

‘He didn’t think you were. Either of you, actually. That’s why he said blunted weapons. He knows the kind of damage you both can do,’ said Steve.

‘Eh, fair enough. A blunted weapon is more dangerous than a sharp weapon, anyway. When can we start?’ asked Bucky.

‘After the dinner. We want to have things settle down before we make anyone nervous,’ said Steve.

‘Too late for that,’ muttered N’Jadaka.

**

‘Do we get a gold star for surviving that?’ asked Bucky sarcastically, collapsing onto the couch, stretching his legs out before him.

‘I didn’t stab anyone,’ pointed out N’Jadaka. He sat down next to Bucky and rolled his head to the left and then to the right.

‘I’m proud of you,’ said T’Challa dryly, sitting across from them, a groan escaping his lips.

‘At least we didn’t start a war,’ muttered Shuri. She raised her eyebrows at an unimpressed Okoye who stood next to the fireplace, arms crossed over her chest.

Steve put his hand on Bucky’s right shoulder, leaning over to kiss the top of his head. ‘It couldn’t be any worse than that situation with the soup and Mrs Miller.’

‘Christ, did ya have to remind me of that?’ complained Bucky. 

‘See? We got through that, we got through this. We’re pros at this,’ teased Steve.

‘I do have to say, you were admirably calm,’ noted T’Challa, looking at N’Jadaka.

N’Jadaka shrugged and gave his cousin a crooked smile. ‘This ain’t shit. Some dude puffing his chest at me? Whatever.’

‘What would incite you?’ asked Shuri. ‘Other than, of course, what you almost succeeded in doing before?’

T’Challa raised a hand and looked over at his sister. ‘Shuri, that’s enough.’

‘Is it?’ asked Shuri. She gave a sweet smile that fooled no one in the room. ‘Is it enough that he is part of the family, that his crimes have been forgiven, that he is defended from all detractors?’

‘What would be enough?’ asked N’Jadaka, softly. ‘I see your anger and your fear. I have sworn to not raise a hand against your brother or any other successor to the throne and I won’t break that oath. How can I reassure you?’

‘Don’t humour me,’ said Shuri, curling her lip, her dark eyes narrowed. ‘I may be younger than you but I am not a child.’

‘Then stop acting like one,’ said N’Jadaka, sharply. ‘I’m asking you as an adult so talk like one back to me. You want me to talk to you as an equal? Then start acting like one.’

‘I almost lost my brother! My father had just died and I almost lost my brother!’ yelled Shuri. 

‘And I lost my father to your father. I grew up fending for myself, going from foster home to foster home until I could sign up for the military. I had to prove myself every day because a black man has to be twice as good as any colonizer,’ said N’Jadaka. ‘I had to take care of myself from an early age because of what your father did.’

Shuri’s eyes filled with tears. ‘Why did you not contact us? Why did you ask for a grievance?’

‘You are young,’ said N’Jadaka. ‘And you grew up in a place where you have been protected, loved, and taken care of. Everything is an open window or unlocked door for you. It was not like that for me.’

‘Shuri,’ said T’Challa. ‘We have been fortunate as a people and a country. We chose to hide away. You know our history.’

‘I do. And I am trying to understand. Why are you not angry?’ asked Shuri, turning towards T’Challa.

‘Because we talked. And because I understood the injustice, the unfairness of it all. There is more to his story than you know, Shuri. Perhaps, when you are ready, you can hear him tell you everything. And then you can decide,’ said T’Challa.

Shuri nodded. ‘I need more time.’

‘We at least have the luxury of time,’ said T’Challa. ‘Is this alright with you?’ T’Challa continued turning to N’Jadaka.

‘Yeah. It’s a lot to take in. And I’ve had time to think about everything. About what went wrong and what should have been. I don’t know if I’m angry anymore but I sure as hell wish things had been different,’ said N’Jadaka.

‘Well, if you’d grown up with us, Shuri would have even more terrible ideas because she would have followed you,’ said T’Challa.

Shuri’s eyes widened. ‘Oh…. Would we have gotten into trouble?’

N’Jadaka grinned. ‘Lots of it.’

Shuri regarded him for a moment. ‘All right. I will come to you when I’m ready and I will listen. Is that fair, cousin?’

‘It is,’ said N’Jadaka.

‘And, if we were going to get into mischief together, we could have blamed T’Challa,’ said Shuri, giving N’Jadaka a grin.

‘Naturally,’ agreed N’Jadaka, hiding his delight while T’Challa squawked in protest.

‘So cousin,’ said N’Jadaka. ‘Do we have permission to spar in a couple of weeks?’

‘I think we can arrange that,’ said T’Challa. ‘Okoye, do we have weapons they can use?’  
‘It depends on what you’re comfortable with them using,’ answered Okoye.

‘I’m not going to actually kill him,’ said N’Jadaka.

‘You wish,’ muttered Bucky.

‘I just want to maim him slightly,’ added N’Jadaka.

Bucky gave him a narrow-eyed glare and snorted. ‘We’ll see who’s maiming who.’

‘Keep talking like that and no one is getting anywhere near the sparring arena,’ said Okoye.

‘We’re using blunt blades anyway. It’s not like we can do a whole lot of damage with it,’ said N’Jadaka.

Bucky shook his head. ‘You might not be able to but me and my arm say differently.’

‘Can I watch?’ asked Shuri.

‘You just want to make fun of us,’ said N’Jadaka.

‘Well, yeah. But I also want to watch and see how you two fight. It’ll help me when I’m designing defense devices,’ said Shuri.

‘Sure,’ said Bucky. ‘If I can’t get through something, then pretty much nobody else can.’

‘Just think of how useful that would be,’ said Shuri. ‘I can protect the entire Dora Milaje with that knowledge.’

‘I’ll clear the arena for you two soon,’ said Okoye. ‘And I’ll be sure you have just the right weapons at hand.’

**

‘I should have known better,’ said Bucky dryly, staring at the staff in his hand with the butter knife attached to the end.

N’Jadaka’s mouth twitched upwards. ‘Never mess with a Dora Milaje,’ he said ruefully. ‘We will lose every time.’

Shuri laughed gleefully and kicked her feet against the bleacher. ‘Good thing neither of you are a slice of bread.’

Steve grinned. ‘Should I grab the butter, Buck?’

‘You wanna sleep peaceful like tonight, punk?’ asked Bucky in return.

Steve shrugged. ‘I’ll take my chances.’

T’Challa swung his staff around to poke at the material wrapped around the knife. ‘What is this? It’s nothing I’ve ever seen before.’

‘I invented it. It is stronger than most tape,’ explained Shuri. ‘I contacted that young man with the spider web material and we talked about it.’

‘Oh, that stuff is dangerous,’ said Bucky. ‘He wrapped myself and Falcon up in it pretty good.’

‘Isn’t Falcon supposed to come by soon?’ asked N’Jadaka.

‘Yeah. He is on an errand right now but he’ll be back soon enough,’ answered Steve.

‘When he gets back, he can join us,’ said N’Jadaka. ‘I’d like to see how he does.’

‘He’s no slouch either,’ said Bucky. ‘He can hold on enough for back up to get to him.’

‘Impressive,’ said N’Jadaka. 

‘Are you two done talking or are we going to do some actual sparring here?’ asked T’Challa.

‘Well, if you put it that way,’ said Bucky and he lunged without hesitation, crossing staffs with T’Challa.

‘Yes!’ crowed N’Jadaka, stepping forward to engage.

Bucky whirled and parried N’Jadaka while pushing T’Challa towards his cousin.

T’Challa muttered and arced his staff towards N’Jadaka who barely hopped back in time to avoid being smacked in the face.

‘Are you two done playing around?’ asked Bucky, not even breaking a sweat. He whirled his staff and smacked T’Challa on his shoulder.

T’Challa and N’Jadaka exchanged looks. 

‘Oh, you did it now,’ said N’Jadaka.

‘Bring it,’ said Bucky.

Steve groaned, watching Bucky’s grin widen as both T’Challa and N’Jadaka engaged Bucky.

Shuri only laughed. ‘Now I’m getting my entertainment’s worth.’

**

Steve was right; Sam came back to Wakanda a week later, swinging by the apartment after dropping his gear off with Shuri.

‘Hey, anything exciting happen while I was gone?’ asked Sam. He looked at the assorted bruises on N’Jadaka’s arms and face and grimaced.

‘You shoulda seen the other guy,’ said N’Jadaka. ‘Just in case you were wondering, that metal arm does a lot of damage.’

‘I know,’ said Sam. ‘Although it was supposed to be lighter, Barnes. What did you do?’

‘I didn’t do anything. Isn’t my fault that he couldn’t keep up with me,’ said Bucky.

‘Couldn’t keep up with you!’ exclaimed N’Jadaka, rising slightly and wincing.

‘Sit down,’ said Steve, mildly. He brought an ice pack over to N’Jadaka who accepted it with a murmured thank you.

‘You did a good job though, ‘said Bucky. ‘You and T’Challa had some great maneuvers.’

‘Aw, bet you say that to all the boys,’ teased N’Jadaka.

‘Only the clever ones,’ agreed Bucky.

N’Jadaka preened while Sam hid an amused grin. ‘I’m clever. I’ll take that to the bank.’

‘Did everything go OK?’ asked Steve.

‘Yeah. I have all the info uploaded and you can take a look at it when you have the time,’ said Sam. He sat in the chair across from N’Jadaka.

‘What is it you do, exactly?’ asked N’Jadaka. ‘Steve told me I should ask you.’

‘It depends,’ answered Sam. ‘When there’s something that needs looking at, I take a look at it. I keep tabs on certain things. We might be without our home base but that doesn’t mean we still won’t take care of matters if need be.’

‘That’s cryptic,’ said N’Jadaka.

‘I have to be,’ replied Sam. ‘After we left the Raft, Clint and Scott went back home. They’re being monitored. The rest of us, we choose what we want to do. Do we keep an eye on things? Do we make sure things are as above board as we can make them? Yeah. At least, that’s what I choose to do.’

‘Don’t you got family?’ asked N’Jadaka. ‘They worried about you, I bet.’

‘I do. I got a sister back in the States. Got a niece. My momma and daddy aren’t alive but they would worry plenty if they were,’ answered Sam.

‘Do you talk to her much?’ asked N’Jadaka.

‘A little. Enough so she doesn’t have to worry too much,’ said Sam. 

‘Do you stay in touch with your mother’s side of the family?’ asked Steve, looking at N’Jadaka.

‘Nah. They were too busy with their own problems. I lost touch with them when I enlisted. And I couldn’t really let them know what I was doing,’ said N’Jadaka.

‘You think of getting back in touch with them?’ asked Steve.

‘I have more than enough with what I got here,’ said N’Jadaka, a wry smile at the corner of his mouth. ‘My daddy’s side of things is more than enough drama for me.’

N’Jadaka adjusted his ice pack and looked over at Bucky. ‘Do you have anyone you can still talk to in your family?’

‘Most of my sisters are dead,’ answered Bucky. ‘I have one sister left and she’s kinda mad at me right now.’

‘You couldn’t help it, Buck--’ began Steve but Bucky cut him off with a look.

‘What matters to her is that I was alive when she thought I was dead. I was alive doing horrific things and she cried every night for years, thinking I had died. She’s angry that I was made into the Winter Soldier. She’s angry that she can’t see me whenever she needs to. Happy endings don’t always happen,’ said Bucky, turning away.

Sam and N’Jadaka traded looks. Sam shrugged at N’Jadaka’s frown and motioned for him to speak first.

‘She needs more time,’ said N’Jadaka, softly. He didn’t flinch from Bucky’s glare. ‘Ain’t that what you keep telling me? People need time to sort their shit out. People need time to feel and then they can talk about what’s bothering them.’

Bucky sighed and rubbed his face with his hands.

‘You told me it ain’t easy, what I’m doing. That it would have been easier to let me bleed out, like I wanted. But I’m here because my cousin wanted me to live and he wanted to make amends the best way he could,’ continued N’Jadaka. 

‘She’s happy to talk to you. She never refuses a call,’ said Sam. 

‘I know,’ said Bucky, bowing his head.

Steve put his arm around Bucky, giving him a gentle kiss on his cheek. ‘I know she’s glad you’re here. And she knows you aren’t staying away because you want to.’

‘When things get sorted out, we’ll fly right to her. You and her can have a nice long chat,’ promised Steve.

‘More like a yelling session,’ muttered Bucky.

‘Family be like that sometimes,’ said N’Jadaka. ‘One big blowout sometimes needs to be done.’

‘Bucky and I used to have some good fights back in the day. The Howlies would run for cover,’ said Steve. He chuckled and nudged Bucky with his elbow.

Bucky grunted. ‘If _someone_ had listened to common sense, we wouldn’t have had those discussions. But no. No, Captain Stubborn knew best.’

‘You said it, not me,’ teased Steve. 

‘Have you and T’Challa and Shuri ever have a big blow out? It’s been pretty civilized with y’all,’ said Sam.

‘I mean, we’ve talked,’ said N’Jadaka.

‘Yeah but have you just let it out? Shuri snipes and she’s gotten upset sometimes. But have you set aside all this formality and cleared the air?’ asked Sam.

‘They know how I feel,’ said N’Jadaka. He looked down and squeezed the ice pack between his hands. ‘They know that it’s gonna take time for me.’

‘Well. Maybe when you’re ready, you three could just… really let it out. If it means some shouting, then it means some shouting. But it’s better than cold silence and sniping when you least expect it,’ said Sam.

N’Jadaka shrugged. ‘Yeah, maybe.’

‘It’s never easy with family,’ said Steve. ‘I had just my ma but after she died, Bucky’s family pretty much adopted me and I had four sisters all of a sudden. They all had opinions.’

Bucky snorted. ‘In other words, it was ‘Steve, no’ and Steve just did his thing. There were consequences, of course.’

‘Yeah. I think my head is still ringing from that scolding from Becca,’ said Steve.

‘I’m hoping we can visit them as soon as this mess is all sorted out,’ said Sam. ‘I get to talk to my niece every couple of days but I haven’t seen her in over a year.’

‘We’re working on it,’ promised Steve. ‘Even though Ross is doing his best to gunk up the works.’

‘I’d like to gunk up his works,’ said Bucky, rolling his eyes.

N’Jadaka snickered and he and Sam exchanged amused looks.

‘When y’all decide to go back for a visit, I’ll talk to T’Challa about tagging along. He wants me to do some ambassador work and be known as part of the Royal family. He figures my familiarity with American culture is an asset,’ said N’Jadaka.

‘All right,’ said Steve. He shot Bucky a triumphant look which Bucky ignored. 

‘You comfortable with that?’ asked Sam.

‘Yeah… I’m going to be starting some initiatives with organizations that are challenging the systems of white supremacy. I’m already talking to some people and am sending them funding. Wakanda is going to support what they’re doing and I’m the person who’s going to talk to them,’ said N’Jadaka.

‘You’re just the person for that,’ said Steve while Bucky nodded. ‘You know better than most anyone what they’re up against.’

‘That’s what I figured. T’Challa told me that I wasn’t wrong in my thoughts. He said that Wakanda never had to bear the brunt of colonialism and that it was time to step forward,’ said N’Jadaka.

‘I think,’ said Bucky after giving Steve a quick glance, ‘that there might be a way to get you over there without being involved in what we’re doing. If so, you feel like going with Sam?’

‘Sure. I’d be up for that,’ said N’Jadaka. ‘You OK with that, Sam?’

‘Yeah. Does this include a field trip to see my sister and niece by any chance?’ asked Sam, giving Bucky an exasperated look when Bucky winked at him.

‘It might. T’Challa wants to go back to the States. He wants to talk more about amending the Accords and loosening the restrictions and punishments. Tony is willing to meet him there and back him up. We might be going home sooner rather than later,’ said Steve.

‘That would be great!’ exclaimed Sam. ‘My sis would be all over that.’

‘OK. I figured if N’Jadaka knew we had that opportunity, he could talk to T’Challa about going with and Sam would be our representative. Bucky and I are OK to stay here for now. It’s best we weren’t directly involved. Sam is more than capable to communicate what we all need and want,’ said Steve.

‘All right! I’ll contact T’Challa and see when we could get this lined up. And then I’ll make sure Sam doesn’t come to grief from any of those assholes,’ said N’Jadaka, his eyes gleaming. 

‘Guess we got a plan,’ said Sam. ‘I’m gonna get ready for my Oscar.’

‘I’m sure Ross will delighted,’ said Bucky, dryly. ‘But yeah. We got a plan.’

‘I’m going to contact the people I know and come up with a way for all of us to be in the same room together. We could really get this off the ground,’ said N’Jadaka.

‘Good,’ said Steve. ‘Glad you’re here, N’Jadaka. You really are the man for this.’

N’Jadaka chuckled. ‘Looks like my ancestors had plans for me. And maybe…someday… when it’s time… my daddy will be proud of what I’ve done.’

Steve smiled. ‘I can’t speak for him but I wouldn’t be surprised.’

‘Nah, me neither,’ added Bucky. ‘Remember what I said about second chances. Curse and a blessing.’

‘Yeah. Guess I’m gonna count my blessings,’ said N’Jadaka. He looked at Sam, Steve, and Bucky. ‘And that includes my friends.’

Sam and Bucky snorted when Steve turned pink. ‘Don’t change, Stevie,’ said Bucky, leaning over to give Steve a lingering kiss while Sam heckled them both.

‘Yeah. Stay you,’ advised N’Jadaka, smiling broadly. ‘Some things shouldn’t change.’


End file.
